Women at Peace.

I recall that night when mama saved the day. I had fought in school and the mother of the girl i fought with came to report to my father.

Baba was that disciplinarian dad who took no nonsense, especially from his own family. He had a reputation to preserve and he did it very well.

Many took advantage of that to get at us. Even when we were in the right. They knew we" get the cane" even for inconsequential things like an argument.

That was the case that night. Bola ,my one time friend suddenly became envious and tried to get others not to play with me. I heard about some mean things she had said about me. When I confronted her, she was embarrassed about telling tales and in a bid to cover up her shame, she started a fight. I didn't know how to fight but I needed to defend myself. After two slaps from her, all I did was give a kick and she was down. Her ego went down too. That was a big deal for her obviously.

She came with her mother to the house later in the evening. They ranted about how I beat the living daylight out of Bola, how I made the whole school laugh at her and turned everyone against her. Lies!

I trembled with fear at what Baba would do to me ,for fighting was a grievous crime in my household.

That day was the first time I saw my Mama openly interrupt Baba. She calmed the raging mother softly and told her she didn't need to get worked up by the children's issue. It worked magic. She promised that they ( my parents )would look into the matter.

The mother and daughter left disappointed. They expected my dad to have dealt with me,as he was known to do.

Mama further reasoned with my dad later as I would hear her say " you should know your daughter better.... She is not violent... She must have been provoked.....".

I didn't hear what Baba replied, but that was the last I heard about it. I spent the night wondering what the outcome of that talk would be. I dreaded Baba's beating like hell. It never came.

Mama saved the day!

I learnt from this the power of women in making peace. The power of conflict resolution. It didn't need brute force or strength. There is something in a woman, even uneducated, local, and women who are short ( like my Mama!) that makes peace.

Looking at the current world conflicts, we see women and children are worst hit. Starting from the Russian invasion of Ukraine, the Taliban regaining control of Afghanistan after the withdrawal of the US troops, Mexican and Colombian drug crises, South Sudan's ethnic conflicts, Terrorist insurgency and banditory attacks in Nigeria most recently Niger's coup . Women bear the brunt of the chaos and pains of wars. They are exposed to heightened risks of being violated.

Conflicts and insecurities exacerbate the existing patterns of discrimination and inequalities meted to women. Conflict situations create opportunities for these to thrive because in times of conflict family, societal and government structures are broken and not in place to stem the tides of these inequalities and discriminations. Rules and laws are disregarded.

In such times, Peace Building and conflict resolution are very important. And more important when women, who are natural peace builders and more affected by conflicts are involved.

The 2006 Security Council adopted resolution 1325 on peace and security which calls for increased participation of women and incorporation of gender perspectives on all UN security and peace efforts.

Peace Building approaches mediation, diplomacy, dialogue and pacification.

To achieve peace, it must be every one's business and responsibility.

Peace, in the Western world might be defined as absence of war and conflicts.

Does that mean people in conflict areas are doomed to never experience peace?

I see peace more like a personal thing an individual possesses that oozes out to affect every sphere of a person's life even in times of conflict.

Peace in the Hebrew sense means wholeness, welfare, function, security, restoration, restitution and destroying the authority of chaos.

If women must be given a chance to be involved in peace building opportunities, then women must begin to create their own personal peace. This will trickle down from one woman to the other. In synergy women can confront the powers that cause chaos and conflict.

There are 5 spheres of peace. The personal, social, political, institutional and ecological.

Peace starts from a person. The roots of peace are rooted in self awareness and the right relationship a person has with herself. A woman at peace is one who has self discovered and is comfortable with wearing her skin. She accepts her strength and weakness and learns from her failures. This type of peace exists despite of outside happenings, other's acceptance or rejection.

This personal peace has power to affect other speres of peace. It affects how we treat others ( social), our attitude irrespective of people's actions and behavior, our ability to give and receive kindness and values that make for human dignity. It also affects policies and decisions put in place, our sense of duty to uphold justice and non-violent , people friendly laws( political). Personal peace helps us see and respect the interdependency of all organisms in their different habitas (ecological).

With the call for more women to be involved in decisions and policy making, and places of leadership, we need more women who have found their inner peace. Who are not at war with themselves and others. Whether at home ,work spaces or in communities. They are learning , unlearning and relearning ways to keep their peace in the face of stressors and unrest.

It is such women who will bring the healing military invasions failed to bring. Not that military do not help solve immediate problems, only that in many occasions they complicate the problems.

Women who are at peace can help solve the underlying causes of many of the world's conflicts. They attack root causes instead of symptoms.

They have an address. They live at peace!