witty comebacks for sexists

So everyday I come in contact with some type of sexism. It is annoying, and at times very disheartening. But, inspired by my favorite feminist/activist Amanda Marcotte's book It is a jungle out there: the feminist survival guide to politically inhospitable environments, I have taken her attitude towards sexist people and I am recommending a few witty comebacks of my own. Some are specific, some are general, all are pretty funny (in my humble opinion)

1. Fuck off/ go fuck yourself- Admittedly foul mouthed, but still my favorite. It basically shows in the clearest way possible, that you disagree with the person. Now some people say that cursing shows a lack of education, I say when you cannot argue with someone in an intellectual manor, this will do just fine




2. You must have angry white male/female syndrome- this is not an actual syndrome, but diagnosing someone with it is funny because there is nothing that makes a person who has always known privilege more angrier than pointing out how privileged they are and therefore a bit ignorant of the world. Bonus points if you get them to shout \"I do not have angry white male/female syndrome\". Even more points if you can somehow get in that you have read up on the condition, and you are very sorry they are suffering from it. Right wing people hate when liberals show sympathy to them, it pisses them off even more!




3. Let me guess, you watch a lot of Fox news and you hang out to their every word don't you?- people that are delusional enough to be right wing have to be watching Fox news, it is like for the right wing or something. By pointing this out, you are implying that they are kind of impressionable and believe everything that television tells them. As Amanda Marcotte points out in \"It is a jungle out there\" right wings get their backs up about this because they fancy themselves very orginal and independent.




4. Just straight up call them out on their sexism/racism/classism, privileges, exct.- Even the most hardcore right wing conservative values their social self preservation enough not to come right out with their prejudice. Instead, they try to use euphemisms and distracting reasoning to cover their real agenda. By simply calling them for what they are, they will get all flabbergasted and loud mouthed defending themselves, in turn making them look like an even bigger idiot.




5. Talk like you are the \"ideal women\" the conservatives rave about- Talk like a robot, get a stupid smile and blank look on your face anytime someone asks you a question, or my favorite \"whatever will I do without a penis to guide me?\" The penis thing pretty much sums up a sexists thoughts, that the penis is mighty and powerful and us women folk should bow down and worship its awesome powers. It will get the point across that you think the person you are talking to is an idiot




6. Tell them you are a Women's Studies major- Seriously, I do this all the time to people and it is hilarious to see them shrivel in horror at the sight of a professional feminist in training. (as a side note when I tell them I am also a history major, their heads almost explode from the confusion of it all)




7. Tell them you have a boyfriend and he is aware that you are a feminist, and he likes that about you-this goes against everything the wing nut has ever thought about feminists, so be forewarned they might have a mental break down or retaliate with the age old \"he is pussy whipped\" do not engage in a conversation anymore at this point, you will end up wanting to bang your head up against the wall




8. Don't worry, be happy- Being cheerful and in a good mood really pisses people like this off. If you are a feminist you are supposed to be miserable and have a scowl on your face! Being happy only makes them more angry, because you go against every ideal they have and you are happy while doing it!