WHEN A LOSS HITS DIFFERENT

I am no stranger to grief and like almost everyone else, have lost quite a few loved ones to death. For the past one month plus, I have been overwhelmed with multiple losses of people I know and hold dear. From the death of my uncle, father and guardian when I was in school in Buea in July 9th 2022, to the death of four others I know, three of whom were persons with sickle cell.

The frequencies of the way the deaths occurred between July and August 2022 was as if they all signed a kind of contract with the grim reaper. I mean before I could digest the shock of the demise of one, there is news of the passing of another hitting my phone.

Usually, I use writing as a means to let go my emotions and sometimes, grief brings out the poet in me. This time around, I felt so overwhelmed that I was unable to really sit down for long to write anything concrete. Each time someone with sickle cell dies, it hits me different. Somewhere along the line, this thoughts resurfaces especially if it was a warrior I was close to. I would worry and wonder if the next crisis I get, given the unpredictability of life with sickle cell and the sometimes inadequate care and management provided  would be my last. So, you can all imagine how losing three such brave warriors in a space of one month zapped my energy and left me overwhelmed.

One of these warriors was Frank Somo, a fierce and passionate sickle cell warrior and advocate who was a dynamic, hard working and purpose driven warrior with a go-getter attitude. His business acumen was so inspiring. I first met Frank during one of our sickle cell clinics some few years back in which I spoke on the importance of exploring nature's amazing pharmacy alongside conventional medicine in the care and management of persons with sickle cell. He was my unofficial French interpreter and from that meet, we got to forge a beautiful relationship of mutual love, support and respect.

His passion to better the lives of people with sickle cell is what I believe moved him to join World Pulse though I wasn't quite aware of this as he hasn't been too active here or maybe it was me that hasn't been so I couldn't say but I know he was a focused, purpose driven young gentleman who couldn't let the limitations of his health stop him and that is what really drew me to him. His zest for life and his positive attitude was quite a breathe of fresh air from the many negative and nagging stories of others I know.

As a matter of fact, in spite of knowing he has been struggling with his health for some years now, we didn't dwell much on these challenges. I mean we all knew about that but what he needed was someone who could challenge his intellect and have an intellectual conversation with him, empathetic but devoid of pity. And that is what I always tried to do. As a matter of fact, a few days before his demise, we had a discussion centred around his growing business, collecting his debts from debtors and ways to leverage on growth. We even had a small disagreement on the way an information was shared by him but in all, we didn't dwell on his health, only reminding him at the end to make sure he goes to the hospital for follow up.

He hid his pain well and in spite of knowing his had been battling his health for a while, the news of his demise some few days after our last chat still came as a shock. I mean I knew he was sick but I wasn't prepared for that news. Not when we spoke about his passion for the sickle cell community. Not when we spoke about him not always bringing too much 'sorry heart' into his business and for his debtors to pay up. Not when we spoke about his organization for persons with sickle cell and him trying to legalize that. His passion and zest for life was contagious and in thinking of him, I can't help feeling sad for a life of purpose cut too short. And so, even as we cry and fret, for him, for the many others, for us and for the future generation to come, we fight on with hopes that our voices will be loud enough to bring in the change and access to quality health care and management we all deserve.

The fight goes on and his legacy lives on.