What’s on men’s mind when they choose a wife?

One of my cousins has been beaten up by her husband almost every time he gets drunk. My cousin is dark and not pre she did not go to school. I thought those are the reasons her husband hated her. I thought he was upset that she didn’t have a better job in society rather than selling some food in front of their home. I thought those were the reasons cause her husband to disrespect her, and violated her both physically and mentally. But I never know the real reasons for sure.
I can’t believe the same fate goes to her sister too though she has a much better quality. Her sister is beautiful. She finished high school and went on to study to be a secondary teacher. She earns as much as her husband earns. She even owns a grocery store. Yet, she has similar future to her sister. Her husband beats her and does not respect her at all. Every time he gets drunk, he curses her and her family with very bad words. If my cousin can tolerate, it’s fine. If she can’t and start to argue with him, violation will occur. She went to a trial, but he did not agree to divorce, but promised he would not commit any more violation. However, he has not changed.
In the first case, I think I know the reasons my cousin in law is not happy to be with my cousin.
The second case, I had no idea what the reason was until I went home for vocation last month. She’s now studying to get a BA, and since she has started this course, her husband gets mad more often. I heard he was unconsciously saying to her while he got drunk, “If your family valued education so much, your mother would not just be a fortune teller.” There’s the point. Clearly, he is not happy that her mother in law does not have a better job and a high position in society. Maybe he’s always been embarrassed to tell his friends and others about his mother in law’s job.
Notice that these two couples are from loved marriage. The two men chose my cousins by themselves. I wonder if they love their wife at all. Or they chose a wife for another reason, for their own benefits?
Lots of Cambodian women are looked down and violated by their husband in one way or another. Those men make up nonsense reasons I find it so hard to catch up.
All my life, I’ve seen very few husbands treat their wives respectfully. Is it because their wives are not worth enough, Or because those men always think that their wives are not equal to them, and so they do not deserve to be treated respectfully?