WHAT DOES ABUSE LOOK LIKE ? THE DARK SIDE

Besides the obvious wounds inflicted in an abusive situation s, what does abuse really looks like .?

Sade loves her husband to the moon and back ,their relationship has stood the test of time from high school sweethearts to eight wonderful years of marriage , they have spent twelve of their growing years into adulthood together .

Justine is the perfect patner , they have a symmetry that could be described as almost perfect. They have both supported each other through their studies and now blooming careers , avid travellers as yet there isnt the pitta pata of tiny feet ,but they are not perturbed as their busy schedules keep them so occupied that spending time lying on a beach on a resort island, is the ideal alone time together that they are not ready to share .

But the intermitten , Are you ok ?from her co workers is beginning to cause Sade to think that her perfect Hollywood acting skills are begining to fail, when this question is posed she quickly adjust herself takes a deep breathe and flashes that winning smile , although deep down she wants to tell someone ,everything isnt .

Justine is so well loved by everyone , the girls at work smile and blush whenever he visits the office , they would all heep compliments on him , he makes them all feel special , always with a kind word or a lil treat from his company .

Sade never feels threatened as thats the very reason she loves him, hes like that with everyone , but hes the most respectable and frist to boast of his happy marriage , maybe life isnt meant to be perfect she thinks . Maybe this is something she can live with ,because from hearing what the other girls go through in their relationships , she should be thankful, but the frequent appearance of this dark side pushes her to the edge so much , its begining to cause her pain , pain she doesnt seem to have the power to overcome .

Last night was one of those nights, during a wonderful evening of spending time with friends , laughter , food, drinks , dancing into the night at the street festival , her hello to a former colleague is blown out of proportion, justine accuses her of encouraging the guy to flirt with her , and his casual how are you? , was translated as I want to sleep with you and her half smile as Yes I want you so badly!.

She is accused of being disrespectful and of bad character , he says all this with a straight face into her ears , while his hand is securely wrapped tightly around her shoulder and waist, in what seems to be a loving embrace . He places his lips harshly against the back of her neck in a violent kiss that pulls the blood through her skin..With her back turned pressed against him ,their friends dont have a clue as she smiles through the discourse , with tears burning the back of her eyes she keeps her composure .

His voice , threatening , agitating is covered by the loud music blaring from the nearby speakers , she knows only to well that this is just the begining of a long night , her hurt and tears means nothing to this narcissist . Nothing she says in her defence is accepted , he will only stop when she admits that he,s right about her , but how could she? , this person hes describing that doesnt value faithfulness or herself enough to engage another man in the presence of her soul mate isnt her , how could so much be read into a casual hello .?

She ask,s to go to the bathroom as Justine follows closely behind her , she quickly enters and rushes to the stall, taughts run through her mind as she sits down on the closed seat doing nothing but allowing the tears to fall uncontrolably . She thinks of her love for Justine , she thinks about her beautiful mom ,who,s her best friend after justine , she thinks about all she has accomplished , she thinks about how she loves her life , but wishes she didnt have to live with this dark secret. He should be made to know just how much he,s hurting her ,she felt like she just didnt want to continue

Her taughts are interrupted by a knock on the door, "what happen you fall asleep in there , people are waiting you know" a thick voice shouts , as she pounds the door again , Sade quickly composes herself and uses the tissue to sap her tear stained face ,flushes the toilet and walks out , as the impatient one rushes in muttering under her breathe

She steps out into the night light , the fresh air hitting her face , after washing in cold water and applying fresh makeup , this felt so good. Justine stood a short distance away ,as she walks towards him , a tall handsome guy crosses the street towards her , he shakes his head in acknowledgement of her , she doesnt notice keeps her eyes glued on justine .My God here we go again , she braced herself for the attack , but it never came ,instead he smiled at her , placed his arms around her ,looking into her eyes and said , I love you , you know that right ,kiss me .

Kissing him was the last thing she wanted to , more likely wanted to catapult them both in the way of that large , and fast approaching music truck and end this charade . Lets go home honey , he said ,as friend s approached , they exchanged pleasantries , even laughing at some silly comment as they all walked together out of the park , Sade and Justine arm in arm , smiling ,happy , or seemingly so.

The call that came to her moms phone 8.18 am that morning was the last thing she ever expected to hear . The security guard had found Sade unresponsive on the floor of her office ,when he came to deliver coffee ,she usually asked for from the nearby bistro as soon as they opened at 8.00am, whenever she was in before 6am at work.

Her handbag was placed neatly on the the desk , her computer was never turned on , the only light was from the one on in corridor, she just sat there , slumpped back on chair, she had not even removed her perscription lenses from her face , which she would normally use only to drive . The security later recalled she didnt seem her usual self , she seemed sad and unwell, and when he mentioned this , her response was , "nothing my fav coffee wont cure," handing him the cash .

The coffee she never drank ,he lamented , as the entire building staff gathered in disbelief ,some crying out loud as they recalled Justines reaction when he rushed to the office just as the ambulance attendants were taking her out. His pain was deeply visible , he could hardly stand , he screamed her name in disbelief and had to be restrained by some of the male staff , they themselves breaking down in the process. Everyones mind was in a state of confusion, she was so happy, she had everything to live for, a beautiful person onside out . Why ? they all cried.

The cleaning lady would be the only one to add some sense of contrast to the mood, that day . Happy? she said aloud questioingly , pretty girl , but she wasnt happy , hmmm , we women are the greatest actors , that makeup hide plenty tears , I work in the bathroom remember , sometimes Im there she didnt even know. Them men need help , Just like my ex -husband them chirren father , a sugarcake ,sweet , everyone loved him, but he had a side to him only I saw, as she pointed to the scar on her lips, her features changing as if her admittance opened fresh wounds.

And it hasnt stopped ,this story is based on true situations and events , so many women globally , from the coperate ladder to the daily paid worker , busy housewife s and mother s. Lets seek to do more to offer hope to the hurting .