We still have work to do

My mother recently asked me to help supervise a minor construction project for her as she was unable to do so. All I had to do was give a set of instructions to a mason and an engineer. The set of instructions was very simple. One, do not remove X tiles; two, the concrete slab should be two inches below the top of the manhole; and three, the two men should clean up after themselves. 

I gave the two men the set of instructions. They seemed receptive, I then asked them whether they had understood and told them to ask for clarification if anything was unclear.  All seemed well, so I went into the house and decided to check up on them after 30 minutes.  30 minutes later, they had followed none of the instructions. I asked them why they had not followed any of the instructions, they said that they felt that their ideas were better and did not see the need to communicate said ideas with me or with the one who was paying their wages (my mother).

The engineer in question is a young man that my mom has been mentoring as he is the adopted son of one of her best friends.  She has been trying to impact the importance of people skills and the need to listen to customers to him as one way to grow his business.  Having interacted with the young man, his greatest take away in life is that men are men and should never listen to women.  This is a young man who was brought up by his grandmother with great difficulty after the death of his parents.  One of his father’s cousins, a single mother with a son of her own, paid for his primary, high school and university education.  She did this when it became apparent that none of his mother’s or father’s siblings who had better paying jobs than hers would step in.  Her own sisters were opposed to her taking up this added responsibility.

If it weren’t for the women in his life, he wouldn’t have had an education, a roof over his head and place to call home.  Despite all these, his greatest take away in life so far is that men shouldn’t take women’s opinions into consideration. 

This saddened me greatly.  Growing up, in the 90’s and 2000’s, all we heard was that with education things would be better for women and men.  It would broaden our horizons not only in the job market but in our social lives as well.  However, having interacted with the young men of today who could be the offspring of my generation, I am saddened to find that this is not the case.  Our young men seem to lack empathy and the ability to think critically for themselves.  Any woman who is seen to be trying to improve herself is viewed as a hindrance to their personal socioeconomic development and any interaction with them is done with the aim of putting the woman down.

Being child-free I cannot contribute to the conversation of how people rear their children and the challenges that they face in the process as i have no experience.  However, as I sit here and imagine myself as a neighbour, aunt or sister to an 18-year-old young man with a similar mind set to the engineer, I am a little overwhelmed.  Sisters and brothers, we still have work to do.  Formal education alone is not going to get us to where we aspire to be with gender equality.