We Don't Need to Teach Sex Education

Sex education remains a dreaded topic in this part of the world. Parents are waiting for teachers to teach it in school. Teachers are delivering biased information, and we end up getting real, but dangerous information from our peers who do not know any better. Our toxic cultures have decided to focus on the taboo word "Sex" and ignore the most important aspect, "education". 

I saw this manifest when I got my first period as a nine-year-old. It is an experience that remains embedded in my memory because of how confused and overwhelmed I felt.

I was 9 years old in Class 5. I always spoke up about things I wasn't comfortable with and spoke against the injustices I saw, which made me infamous.

I had pissed off this senior student at school, and he met me after school to settle scores. He scolded me, slapped me, and also slapped me on my butt.

When we (my little sister and I) got home, I didn't wait to go inside the house to pee and decided to pee outside.

I pulled down my underwear and there was blood everywhere. I didn't understand what happened to me. My mind immediately went to the slap this senior student gave me on my butt.

Because he was male, and he slapped me on my butt, he surely did something to me. I was going to keep it quiet, but my little sister saw it and started screaming.

I managed to calm her down and told her "Please don't tell anybody. I can handle it. "

What was I even thinking, asking a 7-year-old, whom I always fight with, to keep a secret?

I went into the house, took off the bloody underwear, and discarded it to make sure no one knew about it. I wore other underwear. When I noticed blood on it, I also took it off and discarded it. I did that for the rest of the evening.

I was thankful our nanny didn't notice my frequent trips to the restroom. I also refused to have her bath me that evening. I asked her to allow me to bathe myself for once, and she accepted.

The very next day, my little sister and I fought. We said mean things to each other. I even called her names. Before I realized my mistake, it was too late.

"Mummy mummy I saw blood on Lizzy's pant. She said that I should not tell anybody. "

I began calling her in whispers and begging her to shut up. It was useless because she had already reached my mom's room. 

I heard my mom call me "Lum!!" Fear gripped me.

I was hurt by my sister's betrayal and was also afraid for my life. I told myself, Liz, it's now or never. I took the steps to my death... in my mom's room.

She asked me to pull down my underwear. I did, and my red guest was staring back at us.

She asked me, "What happened to you?" I thought of telling her about the senior student that slapped me on my butt and decided against it. I just told her I came home from school and saw blood on my underwear. I imagined she'd beat me up because a man had touched me. She would rather instruct the nanny to change my underwear. I still didn't pad myself. Who could have guessed it was my period?

When my dad came home that evening, my mom told me to go and tell him what was happening to me. I was embarrassed, but I still went to him. 

My dad looked at me with a mix of anger and disappointment. He then asked me, "What happened to you?" "Did anyone touch you?"

I told him about the senior student that slapped me on my butt at school. "Is that all that happened? Did he do anything else?? Tell me the truth Liz!!" he scolded me. I was already sobbing, and I responded in fear, "Yes Daddy, I'm not lying." I was much more terrified of my dad than I was of my mom. 

I went to my room and lay on the bed, thinking about my life. Yet again, our nanny made me change my underwear, and I dozed off. 

My mom woke me up at about 1 am and took me to where she and I could talk alone. She made me take off my underwear again and there was still blood on it. "I'm going to ask you one last time," she said. "What happened to you?" I told her about the senior student and everything on my mind. She just nodded and told me to go back to sleep after wearing new underwear.

The next day, I didn't see any blood on my underwear. I didn't see any blood on my underwear again until I was 12 years old. I should mention that I had bled on my underwear for two days in a row because no one suspected it was my period.

What disturbed me was how everyone would just call me, ask me questions, and dismiss me without saying anything else.

I felt like I had done something terrible or that I had been struck by a terrible disease.

Is it really necessary to require parents to teach their children "Sex Education"?

Sex education is a must-teach subject. The mistake is that parents and other important stakeholders think teaching sex education is teaching sexual intercourse. I won't blame them because calling this education "Sex Education" is limiting the depth of its content. It is time we embraced CSE!

Comprehensive sexuality education (CSE) is a curriculum-based process of teaching and learning about the cognitive, emotional, physical, and social aspects of sexuality. It aims to equip children and young people with knowledge, skills, attitudes, and values that will empower them to: realize their health, well-being, and dignity; develop respectful social and sexual relationships; consider how their choices affect their well-being and that of others, and understand and ensure the protection of their rights throughout their lives. -[Source: UNESCO. 2017. International technical guidance on sexuality education, pp.16-17] 

In simple terms, CSE is teaching people about their bodies, their functions, and best practices for these bodies.

Think of CSE as a fragile package that you need to unpack carefully and thoroughly every day.Children need CSE as early as 2 years old because there are things to learn and discover about our bodies at every stage of our lives. 

Don't save the conversation for the day your child gets their period or gets married.

Don't wait until your child grows breasts before you tell them about breasts. Make them anticipate the body changes. Make them excited about their periods and other body changes. They'll discover that periods suck sometimes, but tell them anyway.

If you can talk to your 2-year-old about what they want to be in the future, you can talk to them about CSE.

PS: My mom has perfected her Comprehensive Sexuality Education delivery over the years.