Uniting Against Bullying.

This week ,many are uniting to say no to bullying. Bullying is real and rife in many quarters. It has become so bad that we have unconsciously made it normal especially in schools. We think that children will some how find their way through it. We excuse the bullies and trivialize the pains it their victims. 

Looking at the aftermaths, the violence and  trauma, we will agree that we breed hydra- headed monsters when we tolerate bullying.

Bullying is any intentionally repeated act or behavior that is aimed to harm or hurt  another perceived as weak or different. 

It could be verbal , physical or psychological to a person perceived to be weak or different by virtue of race, religion, social class, size, physical features or defects, disability, language or cultural difference  etc. 

In every bullying case, there is the bully. This is the villian.

The person who does the bullying. Then the bullied, who is the receiver of the bully. This is the victim.  We also have the by standers. They are at the side lines. They can be positive or negative in the part they play. They can play the ostrich and pretend like they didn't see or be intimidated into silence. They thus enable the bully. They can also take a stance against the bullying and speak up for the victim.

Today, I am concerned about the home front being the starting point for any meaningful fight against bullying.  The bullies, bullied and onlookers all are part of a home or some sort of home. Our homes are the cradles  were characters are nurtured , good or bad.

We can be intentional to create environments were compassion and respect is valued. Children learn most by what they see. If we place premium price on human lives and exemplify tolerance in the home, when they go out, they do same.

Bullies to some very large extent are victims of sorts too. They are products of some one else's abuse.  They become products of low self esteem and seek validation from negative attitude and expressions. They want to prove that they are worthy of acceptance and crave power by invading others' happiness. They have been put down, so they wrongly think putting others down will raise them up and put them in good light.

The victims are the unfortunate targets of the bullies. Sometimes for no reason, and at times by reason of their being quieter, slower, sometimes smarter, smaller, and  maybe a little different from others. The bullies prefer people who will not easily speak up or speak out. Silence it the victim empowers the bully.

If the home environment has healthy communication, children can easily open up. Their voices will not be stifled in pain or happiness. We can intentionally create safe spaces for family members to unwind. Where their is connection and great bonding, bullying can easily be detected and handled. The way we react to issues will to some extent determine if members of our home will trust us enough to confide in us over issues of bullying.

When homes promote speaking up for the weak and being responsible for others, that virtue can be passed on. It will raise people who are non- challant about the predicaments of others. We can learn to identify with people who not so popular and not be amused at their pain.

Yesterday, I wore odd socks to show that we are all uniquely beautiful. We don't have to be the same and that is okay.  Today, I am having a conversation on how to encourage the culture of reaching out. It's something to be learnt. No one can go life all alone. At one point or the other, we need to open up, we need to reach out to others even in issues of bullying. The strong needs to reach out to the one down, the one down too needs to reach out for help. 

By the end of this week, at least make someone know that it is not okay to bully. It is not cool and it wrong to be happy on someone else's misery. Let someone know that it is okay to speak out and ask for help. It okay to be " weak", and not feel strong at some point. They should know that to hey can trust us . The way they look is okay and what a bully thinks of them is all wrong. They aren't the problem. Finally, the by standers can speak up for others. They should not join the band wagon and enable the bully. They can be the voice for the victim. 

Let's unite and all join force to say not to bullying with a loud voice. The damages caused by bullying can be devastating.