Ukraine: Our Heart Still Bleeds

How can one describe the unquantifiable trauma and lingering effects of rape? Recently, I read the following anonymously shared in one of my groups, and my heart broke into pieces. The effect of war is a detestable mouthful of its own, which adding the trauma of rape to worsens. 

"I don't know how to deal with my situation...I'm new here with my best friend. We are both 19, from Ukraine.

I don't know how else I can help her... My friend, she was raped in Ukraine. She's getting worse and worse...

We only have the two of us here, and I try to be there for her and give her enough space, so she can talk to me about everything.

But suddenly, she starts to panic and starts crying. She screams almost every night and acts very strange when men are around.

She gets angry and mad at me all the time... I really love her, and I'm scared...

She also started watching Netflix with only subtitles because of the movie's male voices.....I really don't know how to help her.

I'm always there for her, but somehow that's not enough... help me."

Sexual assault is a deeply traumatic experience that affects millions of individuals worldwide. The aftermath of such an assault can be a long and arduous journey toward healing, as survivors often face various physical, emotional, and psychological challenges. While some aspects of trauma can be quantified, such as physical injuries or measurable changes in brain activity, the actual depth and breadth of the trauma experienced by survivors of rape is unquantifiable. 

Emotional Scars

One of the most significant unquantifiable aspects of rape trauma lies in the emotional scars it leaves behind. Survivors often experience complex emotions, including fear, shame, guilt, anger, and anxiety. These emotions can be overwhelming and unpredictable, manifesting in flashbacks, nightmares, and a constant sense of hypervigilance. The depth and intensity of these emotional scars cannot be measured in absolute terms but can profoundly impact a survivor's daily life and overall well-being.

Loss of Trust and Safety

Rape shatters a survivor's trust and safety, challenging establishing or maintaining healthy relationships. Violating personal boundaries and the betrayal experienced during an assault can lead to profound mistrust toward others, even those close to them. This loss of trust extends beyond interpersonal relationships and can also affect survivors' trust in societal systems and institutions meant to protect them. The erosion of trust and the constant fear of future harm makes it difficult for survivors to rebuild their lives.

Impact on Self-Identity

Rape can have a devastating impact on a survivor's self-identity. Violating one's body and autonomy can lead to feelings of powerlessness, self-blame, and a distorted self-image. Survivors may struggle with feelings of worthlessness or develop negative beliefs about themselves and their bodies. Reclaiming a positive self-identity becomes a crucial part of the healing process but can be an ongoing and unquantifiable challenge.

Long-Term Psychological Consequences

Image Credit: Susan Wilkinson on Unsplash

The psychological consequences of rape trauma can persist long after healing the physical wounds. Conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety disorders, and substance abuse are common among survivors. These psychological effects can profoundly impact a survivor's ability to function daily, maintain employment, or engage in social activities. Quantifying the toll these conditions take on a survivor's mental health is impossible, as they vary significantly from individual to individual.

Impact on Intimacy and Sexuality

Rape often leads to profound changes in survivors' experiences of intimacy and sexuality. Survivors may struggle with trust and vulnerability, making it challenging to engage in intimate relationships. Physical and emotional intimacy may trigger traumatic memories or fears, leading to difficulties establishing healthy and fulfilling sexual connections. The immeasurable impact on survivors' ability to form and maintain intimate relationships should not be underestimated.

One could go on, but summarily, the trauma experienced by survivors of rape extends far beyond what can be quantified or measured objectively. The emotional scars, loss of trust and safety, impact on self-identity, long-term psychological consequences, and challenges to intimacy and sexuality all contribute to the unquantifiable nature of this trauma. Recognising and understanding the depth and complexity of this unquantifiable trauma is crucial for providing adequate support and resources for survivors. Society must work together to create a safe and compassionate environment that empowers survivors to heal and regain control over their lives.

Sisters, let's continue raising our voices until we are heard, seen, and felt. Meanwhile, how do you think the young lady above can further help her traumatised friend?