Tribute to My daughter JC.

My second daughter turns 11 in a few days.

She will be in school then, but i have planned a surprise in house party for her this night. I want her to feel the depth of my love for her as she marks this age, because of the monumental leaps in her growth that I noticed.

Last year, she moved onto secondary School. At the age of 10. It was twelve for me.

She got admission into my alma mater. I graduated from that same school 30years ago. And I never visited again until the day I walked hand in hand with my very excited but nervous 10 year old. It was surreal.

I had shared stories of my school days with my family. Little wonder JC looked forward to going there. I learnt so much and owe so much to the education I got from that school. Formal and informal.

Being what is called one of the unity schools created by the Nigerian Government to close the educational gap for girls and foster patriotism and unity in the country, Federal Government Girls, College, Bwari became an excellent incubator for producing girls who embrace education and use it as a tool to climb the ladder of life. This school was an incubator for thousands of great ideas birthed by many and it still is.

I sometimes wonder why I influenced my daughter's going to walk the same paths I trod thirty something years ago.

Could it be I wanted to re- live my teenage years through my daughter? Maybe... And is that such a bad thing? Especially since I want all my daughters to succeed at doing life better than I did.

One thing I am certain of is that I want her to find her path in life and walk her own journey without jumping any part of the process.

So like my father walked me to Bwari, I walked JC who was more excited at being left in school than I was at twelve.

I prayed for her like my father did for me and hugged her for the last time before leaving. I had placed her in God's hands. I had faith He would do a much better job of guiding her than I ever could.

We talked with her weekly. Made sure she was visited each visiting day. We bought as much as we could afford. After her first term, she came back with almost all her school items lost! It was a big blow.

I tried to get to know why that was. She excused it for other girls picking her things and not returning them. We made her see she needed to take care of her things properly.

The second term was not better. She lost more items like socks, uniforms and would not let us know until when it's time to resume school.Though she was almost a straight A student , we all knew she was not doing her best. We asked her if she still wanted to return to the school. She said leaving will be like loosing a fight. She would stay for the third term and we should judge by the end of the term. If she would stay on in the school or not.

She came back at the end of the third term and behold, she had everything in tact.

Just before her third term exams, while we talked to her through her house mistress's phone, she announced happily that she has a gift for every member of the family. She had made customized bead bracelets and necklaces for us all and wrote notes with each gift.

During the holidays, she did her laundry without being asked to and was prompt with all her chores. It was common to see her insisting on doing a chore even when she was not the one responsible for it. Of course, there were many times I had to scold her but she seemed to easily apologize afterwards. Plus, she was more responsive to her younger sister.

She shared about how she had a fight with her friend. She even took responsibility for being the reason for the misunderstanding because she did not stand up for her friend and said ' now I know I should speak up for my friends and though we are not that close again,at least there's no bad blood between us'.

I took in all of these casually at first, I didn't want to make a mountain out of a mole hill. But not anymore.

Tomorrow, she returns to school. I got to bed last night to find a letter addressed to ' Mummy and not anyone else please'. She made an art with crayons and decorated the letter. This will be one of the things that will not make it to the trash can ever.

I shed tears when I read her letter.

She started by saying 'I love you Mummy'. She said she will be missing my hugs at school, reason why she lingered on every hug we shared for the past 5 weeks.

She went on to apologise for her bad behavior. And all the things she lost that had to be replaced. She knows we love her and promises to make us proud....

These may be little things, but in them I see a girl who has decided to own her journey. A girl who is becoming the girl she should be as she learns from her challenges.

So today, I write a tribute for her so she can see the steps she takes will take her to the destination of her journey of thousands of miles. I wrote this and dropped in her packed back so she sees it when she is far in school. Then in the silence of her heart she can read it and feel the pride and admiration I feel for this young human who calls me ' Mummy'.

JC.

People get tribute mostly after they die.

I write you this tribute because you just started to live. So you will live more.

You live because you are finding your self.

You have refused to be defeated by challenges.

You have achieved much in the little things that matter.

And in this short while you have grown and will keep growing.

You are facing yours lions and you are fighting well.

You dared to try, and you are winning.

This is growth. I celebrate your growth.

I am proud of the human you are becoming.

I love you and always will.

Mummy.