TRAPPED IN MY OWN DECISION- MARRIAGE

Gender Base Violence (GBV) is a regular spice in the daily life of most women and girls. Consciously or unconsciously, hardly will these women see themselves as victims of GBV. This is because they freely or under duress gave their word to the so- called marriage in which they are trapped. They consider it their destiny and condemned to succumb to whatever condition they are subjected to. This really HURTS!!
Here goes the story of a 39 years old lady, a seamstress and mother of four girls (her identity has been withheld for respect of her privacy). Her 18years of marriage have been characterized by a lot of pain and agony, though it took me a lot of energy to make her see her experiences as manifestations of the different forms of GBV.
The sweet moments of her marriage were short lived as she found herself giving birth only to female children. From the point of view of her husband and in-laws, she is guilty of increasing the number of prostitutes and depriving them of a successor- male. This results to a lot of physical and psychological torture as her husband abandons her and children for another lady.
Unable to break her completely with his actions, he further decides to make things harder for her as he forces her to move her workshop found in a busy market to her home where it will be inaccessible to customers. This renders her more vulnerable and dependent. Many of our sisters are living this same experience though it may vary in magnitude.
Not feeling too impressed with her seemingly “it is well” attitude; he adds more salt to the injury by depriving her from sleeping on the matrimonial bed and later from entering the bed room. She has no voice in her own home.
Thanks to counseling and a lot of encouragement from women’s rights advocates, this lady has come to understand that her experiences are labeled ‘Gender Base violence’. She has come to realize that there are institutions and persons that support her cause and also protect her rights. She is currently seeking the support of the technical services responsible for the protection and promotion of the rights of the woman. Meanwhile her husband is facing the wrath of justice.
There are many women and girls out there in similar situations. For how long will women continue to go through such torture? It is high times! Stop drowning yourselves in tears. The moment to break the silence, seek the support of experts and loved ones while developing a more assertive character is NOW! Dear victims of GBV, encourage one another, speak out and be each other’s keeper!!
Let us all join our voices to say “NO TO GENDER BASED VIOLENCE” in our families, communities and the world at large!