The story of a pilot program

I am now less than a month away from completing the first pilot program of my safe + brave spaces 'Tending the Flame', which has developed so beautifully in the incubating container of Changemakers Lab.

The concept of the circle is based on the murmuration of starlings, birds that fly in communities of millions and look like aurorae dancing across the sky. The way these communities maintain their formations is that each starling looks only at the 6-7 birds surrounding it, and the wave of attention that these small communities shower on each other magnifies into the murmuration of millions.

This thought inspired me to create groups of no more than 10, where there is an intensive focus on learning each member's values, needs and wants. The first session is all about introductions and learning from each other, and that sets the tone for the next seven sessions.

I started the process of my first pilot with outreach in September 2022, and the group began meeting in early October. We meet for two hours every two weeks and spend time checking in about how our fortnight has been, as well as learning about some topic that is of importance to the group as a whole.

So far, we have discussed boundaries, self-care, menstruation, sex, masturbation, food, climate crisis, privilege, marginalization and systemic oppression, intuitive art and reflection and goal setting among other things.

The beauty of tending the flame is that it is a dynamic, organic, iterative process, that is always looking at the participants to choose the direction of the conversation. If something doesn't work, we move on and find the next thing. The framework is also designed to put together resources collected from each participant, so we have a running list of best practices, tools, strategies and resources that each of us have brought in.

Participants have mentioned that they have become more attentive to their own boundaries, that they are grateful to have a safe space to hold them, and that they appreciate facilitation that empowers them to make decisions for themselves and the space.

It has been an incredibly fulfilling journey for me, where I have had to be mindful and resourceful, where I have had to look at myself in the mirror - sometimes when the view was quite unpleasant, and where I have realized that the way to be most empowered is when I give up control and share my truth vulnerably, trusting my community to care for me. 

I am now looking at making 'Tending the Flame' a sustainable model, where it can continue to work with individual participants based on open invitations, or collaborate with organizations to design spaces that are oriented towards the affinity groups that they work with. 

The beauty and the complexity of this model is that there is no one way to describe what it does. It is entirely dependent on what emerges from each participant. I have seen people open up and discover that they have so much more power than they previously imagined. I have seen people trust each other more and decolonize learning models, knowing that each voice is respected as an equal and matters greatly. Best of all, I have seen people recognize themselves as human, and bring allowance and permission into their lives to be exactly who they are.

I hope that my small community will continue to remain connected with me and each other, as the outcome of this circle on their lives ripples outwards in unfathomable ways. I know that this pilot has changed my life forever.