THE AFRICAN GIRL

 Hey,

 I am a girl named Sibeso, born and raised in Zambia which is in the southern part of Africa. Am 18 years old and the fourth born in a family of seven. I completed my high-school education in the year 2021 at the age of 16. I know some of y'all might say, "wow nice. You completed your high school early!" But to be honest, there's ain't nothing nice about it. Don't get me wrong. Am only saying that because, well, ever since I completed my high school education, there's been nothing but trouble, depression and harsh reality in my life. 

 Both my parents are alive and working. Both of them are teachers working under the the Zambian government. Growing up,  I thought I was lucky to be born to parents who work. But I guess I was wrong. Not wrong because they both work. But wrong because I thought my parents would be supportive. 

 Have you ever had a feeling that you're trying your hardest to achieve your dreams but your trying isn't enough? A feeling that you're giving it your all but the universe is in some way upset with you and is doing everything in it's power to pull you down? This is the situation I find myself in everyday of my life. Every morning when I wake up and every night I go to sleep. Because for me, everyday is a struggle.

 For the past 2 years, my life just changed, I don't know, for the worst maybe?! Everything I plan just doesn't seem to work. Everything just doesn't WORK! Somedays I just get the fear that I'll find myself at the end of my days with nothing accomplished. I sometimes lose hope and faith in everything. But again I realize that they're the only things I have got that keep me going. Some days are tough, some days are better, somedays are painful, somedays are joyful and somedays are just unbearable. But what to do, it's all just part of life. Everyone goes through something everyday. 

 Where I come from, in order to be respected, you need to have something materialistic to give. No one is worthy of anything if they don't have anything. No one is worthy of friendships, love or care if they got nothing. And currently, am still at the bottom. Am still molding myself. I haven't started the race yet. And so automatically I ain't worthy of anything. But because I don't want to be left out, am forced to create a life of lies. Am forced to pretend to be someone am not. I want to have friends. I want to love and be loved. I want to live a normal life like the others. But unfortunately I can't live that life because am nothing. Am poor and broke!

 I have both my parents, but sometimes it feels as though they ain't here. They fail to provide even for the littlest of things. I had a dream of becoming a journalist, but slowly that dream is fading away. I thought parents were supposed to be their children's greatest support system. I thought parents were supposed to be their children's heroes. But I guess I was wrong! My parents aren't my heroes. And it's because of that, that I careless about most things. I've grown so used to being disappointed that I sometimes expect nothing good to come out of anything. I've grown numb to certain feelings

Hey, 

 Am a girl  named Sibeso, born and raised in Zambia, Africa. And I come from a broken home. I have no friends because am poor. I have to pretend to be someone am not just to be noticed. I have to pretend to be someone am not just to fit in. I applied for a scholarship in a certain university with the hope of getting accepted and finally getting the opportunity to start my career and living the life I've always dreamed of, but my application was rejected and now there's no hope for university because am financially unstable.  I just recovered from major depression and now am trying get myself together and focus on the present and future.

 Am an African girl. Am black and am bold. Am invincible. I keep on thriving for the betterment of my future as well as my sibling'. I may not be getting through with my plans now, but I believe that something great is installed for me! Through perseverance, hard work, faith, patience and good will for others, I know I'll achieve my dreams!

 Am Sibeso and you're reading my story!

 #HelpIsOnTheWay

 #BlackLivesMatter #sibeso

 #Youth #GodOverAllThings