Talking about it means acceptance

It always starts like a joke, you refuse to accept that this is how it all started. Today, I choose to talk about it TThe fact that I am speaking up means it doesn't hurt. This story was in the closet for the past one decade and counting but today I choose to let go and start from the scratch and may my decision be up lifted, Amen.

It was a trans relationship, in order word cross continent relationship or distance relationship. It was my first love relationship. We met at a high school in Denmark while I was studying in one of the high school then. Fortunate enough for me I got a lot of sponsorship in my teenage age to cover most of my early education. We met 2003 in this study period of mine, he was 10 years older than me. By then so naive as I was, I believe in the age doesn't matter in love syndrome. I thought he would much be protective of me because of his advanced , and hence my Fatherly figure. If only I could read minds?

After, the high school I return back to Ghana, got a job and was doing well. So contented. I worked as an administrator for a resource center. The salary was not huge but it took care of my basics, what I love more about my job then Was the smile I brought on peaple faces. He kept his contact still With me on Facebook messenger, and at times we Skype .

In 2006, he told me he wants us to get marry. I told him this is a big thing to do, because I don't think he will be willing to move to Ghana or relocate? His Response was I should rather do the moving ... this topic of me moving was very difficult discussion. A lot of Reasons, what if things don't work out? I will have to give up on my cozy work? What about my family? Mine mother and siblings who am a bread winner to?

As if I forsaw things, as I was insisting on my grounds, he flewed into Ghana to convinced me and he suceeded. Finally with his proposal I accepted to give up my everything to start from scratch with him in a car away distance lan ccalled Denmark, very foreign. 2007 Sept I finally left for my new found family hope and trusting the man who gave me his words.

I arrived home from a far away distance land , foreign language, different weather system I had to adjust to, the food totally different. Everyday, I have to go extra to fit in this my new community. I change clothes, adapt to food and weather, I started learning the language online since I didn't have the documents yet to intergrate physically. Honestly, I adjusted quickly I must say.

We got married 2008 summer Holidays and we all doing well I think so. He goes to work most of the week days I became a house wife. Most

It was not easy getting my way out due to language barrier. I cannot work, cant do nothing except the glocery because they got name tagged. The Cinemas he must be around and any other casual occasion before I got in. Well I personally don't have any issue with that at all, little by little I was getting intergreted into the system with my new family then Bam things started falling apart.

As I speak with you today it still a dismay because I don't blieve iit has happened. When he visited 2006 he has a lady friend that accompanyed him. He told me that she was pure assistance or aid to him for the visit period and I off cause took his word for it. However, six months down our marriage and when things started falling apart it turns out that they once dated and are coming back again 🙄🤔.

What the heck? How can such be possible after marriage... For me it was like a joke for me. That would never happen oh how? The Begin getting tence, with two women of the and one not acceptable. You can imagine. I became the volunerable one because of already exsiting barriers. Can't speak language and don't literally havea friend to seek advice from. So I was only praying for change in attitude but this was not happening any time sooner.

I lost my self esteem, I tell you it's not pleasant to go through any gender base violence. He never beat me but the verbal abuse got into me. The insulation and the abusive description was getting to me. I became like a dehydrated bull ready for slaughter. At a point he locked all the gadget to denied me of reaching out for help. He placed a password on all computers, also the home phone. He now tke tthe accessible cell phone to work. He leaves no money for my pocket anymore hmm. I stay home crying and when it evening and he arrives he doesn't want to see eye to eye, thi wwas my ordeal everyday.

One evening he returned and command his worker to bring out all my bags outside his house. This was when things dawn on me and I went like I took the stupid decision ever, where do I start from. I decided to stay out door his entrance but he refused me. It was so annoying and very irritating how far you have come just for an idiot to dismantle you for his selfish interest.

I got to the yellow book and such for any seek of refuge. I got one number with a crises center for abuse women. I called and they came to my aid, get to the center and I realized oh mine Danish men are abusive WOW 🤔🙄

Part two will follow soon