Silent encouragement.

Most stories in the group are incredibly touching. I stand in awe of what women are doing for other women, girls, children, families…
I grew up in a more or less unstable environment. Living with my father, different mothers “taking care of me”, some caring and others difficult, I grew up with different “coaching” leaning here and there, struggling to find my way in a world I was discovering. My comfort was my father’s love and care and attention. Not because I didn’t have a mother. They separated when I was 2, 3 years? I don’t know. And for no reason my father will allow my mother to come and see me to talk about taking me or even having me for a week-end. For 13 years of my life I did not know who my mother was, never heard her name or seen her picture. Never did I ask of her. For no reason. What could have been a frein for me was rather a challenge to win. I had an inner motive that drove me all my childhood and helped me work hard for that woman I didn’t know to be proud of me. I also wanted my father to see his love and effort pay. I turned loneliness into hunger for books and knowledge. Spending most of my time reading and pushing back my fears and distress to develop determination and self-control. For all I remember I was always alone, introvert and
But all I cherish from my childhood is the opportunity I had.
I started school at 4, with all learning materials provided till the end of my education. I always had food to eat before and after class, dressed according to the season, decent house, and drugs whenever I was sick. I had at least the minimum.
But what gave me the confidence I have today as a woman is that my father never treated me less than a human being, in contrary I was allow to do whatever my big brother was doing. With particular treatment because I was a girl.
At 8, I was the one putting my parent’s room in order, keeping the key in their absence. At 12, I was being sent to pay bills, choosing menu, deciding where to spend my holidays like my brother.
In our house, men were supposed to care for women. They were entitled to make sure we do not over work or carry things too heavy for us. My father and brothers cook, clean, wash and I do so.
I have seen many people giving more attention to women, listening to them, helping them, not only women but men.
I can hear my primary school teacher predicting me a bright future. I remember my secondary school teacher discussing with me after class, ready to explain again and again… one picture I cherish and always will I remember is my phonology teacher looking in my direction asking the whole class: do you want me to take it again?
I want to praise those men giving us the place we deserve, fighting for our well being, they are in the dark, pushing us as they can. Nobody see them. You will never hear them or feel their presence. But they do stand beside us and whisper “go ahead, you can make it”.
These men value women, they help us gain self-confidence; hold our hands when we try to get up, accompany us all the way and make sure we get there.
They are my heroes.