No To Victim Blaming

I was once a victim of gender-based sexual harassment.  The perpetrator was a junior serviceman who happened to be one of my subordinates.  He practically started sending text messages to me; showing his appreciation for my leadership.  At first, I just shrug it off and regarded his messages as just plain expressions of admiration for my leadership initiatives.  Though of course, I dealt with it diplomatically and without malice, until he started asking me to go out with him which I did not think of as an invitation for a date. At first, I did say NO because of workloads and that he can join my personal staff for a dinner outside Office.  But he was persistent, until one day he called up saying that he wanted to tell me something about his personal problem.  He told me that he had a girlfriend with which he has a child but that they were no longer in contact.  As a superior, I just listened to him pour out his emotions.  However, he stop sharing his story and told me that he would continue sharing once the two of us would go out.  I was adamant at first but a part of me just wanted to listen to him.  After all, as a Senior Officer, it's my duty to listen to my subordinates be it work-related or something personal.  I was then thinking that maybe he really needed someone to talk to and that he needed counseling.  So, I agreed to meet him up; but for my protection, I told my Senior Officer and my trusted colleague that I would go out with one of our personnel.  To my surprise, upon meeting him outside, he told me that he already bought us some drinks and food, to which I reacted; it was then that  I sensed something off in his words.  Sensing that I became awkward, he assured me that he will not do anything to harm me; and that he respected me as one of his superiors.  And then I told him that we should talk in an outdoor setting, I even suggested going to a coffee shop to which I am a regular customer.  But he insisted on not going there.  My gut feeling told me that he was on to something ridiculous, and I was right.  He brought me to an inn without my consent.  As an initial reaction, I yelled at him for how lowly he could think of me.  He betrayed my trust as I really did not expect that he would do such a thing despite my rank and my position.  Still not planning on pursuing a case, I tried talking to him to know deeper the reasons for his actions, I then thought that maybe someone from our Unit ordered him to do that but he denied being ordered; instead, he admitted that he did it because he liked me.  I remained civil to him but I can no longer take more of his advances after the incident because he continued sending text messages to me; telling me that he really liked me and that he was willing to become my paramour.  I ended up filing a complaint against him for his unwanted advances, but many of my colleagues, especially Junior Officers believed his lies and that they blamed me instead for going out with him and for entertaining his messages.  He even spread rumors that we had a relationship to discredit me in an effort to silence me.  On top of that, he enlisted the support of his brotherhood affiliation.  During the investigation, he sited that he did not know that I am married.  But my point is married or not regardless of a woman's status, no one has the right to manipulate her because of her kindness.  Nonetheless, despite his efforts, he was eventually investigated, charged, and administratively punished, but the negative impressions of me remained.  After the incident, I initiated the formulation of the District Safe Spaces Policy, to raise the awareness of our personnel on the salient points of Republic Act 11313 or the Safe Spaces Act. This is to ensure that no other woman would fall victim to that perpetrator.  The said policy became our enabling mechanism to protect our female personnel against all forms of gender-based sexual harassment (GBSH) and put in place our victim advocate group and Women's Desk that will cater to GBSH-related complaints.  On top of that, a series of lectures were conducted to educate our personnel on the new policy.  We even invited the Head of the Women and Children Protection Desk to become our Subject matter Expert on matters pertaining to the policies and procedures in handling GBSH. The said lectures were followed by the distribution of information and education campaign materials in line with our thrust to further educate our personnel.  Indeed, out of that negative episode that happened in my life, I am still thankful for the way things turned out.  I know people would still judge me and for once I regretted being so vulnerable and trusting towards other people, especially the opposite sex.  Others questioned my integrity behind my back, but I can no longer undo what has happened.  As lessons learned, I now became more discerning of whom to listen to while creating a gap between my subordinates and setting boundaries as well.  As for the perpetrator, he was eventually relieved from his present assignment and was reassigned away from our workplace but still within the Region.