My Struggle

I have been married for 1.5 years now, and since then I have struggled for my self-respect. My mother-in-law treats me very badly, and my brother-in-law is very partial; he favors his mother and almost abused me. My so-called devaranis has mentally harrased me a lot.

So here's me. My name is Khushi, and I used to be a very happy girl. I used to enjoy a lot and have lots of fun when my parents thought that I was a big girl now and I must get married. My priorities were different, but I had to keep my emotional balance on top of my priorities, and I got married in Haryana after spending a beautiful 10 years in Delhi.

My mother-in-law has worked hard to raise her kids and I really respect her efforts. She took lots of loans from various people to make her eldest son a doctor, and he became a doctor one day. Now the story begins. She finally started dominating him because she made lots of efforts to make him a doctor. Being a good son, he did everything in his capacity to make things better. Mother's demands kept raising every day, and the time came when his son also got into a debt of 50 lakhs. But expectations did not stop here. Her expectation from his eldest son was also that he must take care of his brothers, who are almost 35 years old, and their lifestyle, as well as of their wives and their kids. Things went smoothly like this until he got married. Now that I am in the picture, since I got married, all the fights are over money. They abuse me because I am financially controlling my husband and trying to make a financial balance, My husband is almost 40 years old. I want him to get out of debt so that we can start our own family, but my mother-in-law has different plans. She just needs money—sometimes 60k, sometimes 80k, and sometimes 16 lakh—from my husband to send my brother-in-law abroad. We are giving them 30,000 every month for their expenses. All the debt that my father-in-law took on was already paid by my husband. My two brother-in-laws are settled and working, but my mother-in-law needs money from my husband only. I started raising my voice seeing my husband's condition because in 15 days his salary is over and for the next fifteen days we have to be on credit card. I told this to my mother-in-law in a very polite way I treat her like a mother only, but she made up a story and started blaming me for snatching his son away. My husband is a good person, but he doesn't want to make a distance with his family,  with which I have no problem. But my mother-in-law is trying to control my life from India to Germany; she feels bad if we go out. She kept doing video calls to keep a check on us—what are we doing, whether we are home or outside—and if we go out on a trip, she starts asking for money. She abuses me. My brother-in-law abused me, and my father-in-law also abused me, but he is fine now.Now the situation is that me and my husband are living very secretly. I always get negative vibes from his family. I tried to make peace with everyone. Being the eldest daughter-in-law, I tried to give love to everyone. My in-laws are not educated; my brother-in-law wants to always be in good books, and hence he and my mother-in-law keep conspiring against me. I feel bad and cornered. I know what is wrong; I know the problem, but my husband wants me not to react, not to say a word, and to be quiet to maintain peace. I am highly stressed because I am unable to handle and cope with this situation. I'm at a loss for what to do. Sometimes I want to quit. I want divorce so that I and my husband can be at peace. Need help!! please suggest!!!Even before marriage, me and my husband had a fight because, even before talking to me, my mother-in-law used to raise her finger at my character just because I am bit modern . I got married because my husband is very nice. I don't know whether I did it right or wrong by marrying him. I just wanted to get out of these debts, for which we are paying approx. 50,000 rupees interest every month, so that we could save something for our future and start a family. My in-laws just talk about money and only money. I am struggling for my own rights in my own family with my own people.