my journey to this woman part 1

Am sheilah lavenda born in an hospital called pumwani hospital in Nairobi Kenya but at 3 months my mum had to take me to my grandma's place where i call home at a village called chukura. Life was sweet in the arms of my granny despite living in pure poverty going without food,walking with worn out clothes,walking barefooted,learning in a school without floor as she gave me pure love.while at class 3 my granny started being unwell and she couldn't fully take care of me, my mum came for the first time  that same year to see me and take me with her to where she was staying with her husband and my other siblings that i met for the first time when i got there.this is where hell broke,i suffered in the arms of my own mum who was to protect me and ensure her baby was fine.my stepdad took advantage of this and made several attempts to rape me but i would run away to a neighbour,my mum would still add pain on this by insulting me i wanted her husband and i was only 10 years old .i cherished my time in school than home ,i feared and got really terrified when nights came,with no phones i couldn't communicate with my granny.i felt deserted and unloved ,i felt i didn't deserve to live again,i got confused if she was really my mum;would ask her to take me back to my granny.