Listening

Without listening and being listened to, how will we ever do our greatest work?

Someone recently posed an interesting question to me - \"Who hears you?\" It was a funny way to ask a question. I had to really stop and think. I spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to say. Sometimes in what order. Whether it will land, and worrying if it is important? Sometimes I get wrapped up in whether I actually have something to say or not! But I rarely think about... \"who\" hears me?

It got me thinking a lot about listening and being truly heard. Rebecca Solnit, the author, describes being heard \"...is to have the vibrations of the air travel through the labyrinth of the listener's ear to the mind.\" I take this to mean that someone doesn't just hear our words, but they feel them; they take them inside, and are changed or moved by what we said. But how often can we say that really happens?

One of my life-observations and laments is that we are so rarely heard in this world. I mean deeply and truly heard. There is a lot of chatter. We are connected through social and Zoom in greater numbers, but are we really witnessed and seen, and acknowledged by the same count? It feels thin, easily forgotten.

When I first got access to Thriving Thursday, it was this special listening relationship which struck me the most. Listening to fellow World Pulse sisters, saw me, heard me - all in a way I was so unaccustomed to experiencing outside of family and closest friends. It's the kind of love that we receive from a parent or a partner, someone who would listen to us all day long. How rare this is beyond the few close people (and pets!) in our lives.

In the workplace such relationships are discouraged. Concerns of professionalism confuse our ability to connect. Our perceived position and status inhibits reaching out. This is a grave mistake. Without listening and being listened to, how will we ever do our greatest work?

The biggest problems of our world are because people have stopped listening, and that those who cannot be heard, do not have a voice. Being heard is to exist, to be of value, to have a right.

We must cultivate being heard for ourselves, and we can, and we must do this for everyone around us. Vitally so for those with less power and privilege. It's not actually that difficult or complex. It only requires us to be present, to be curious and to be kind. And if you are so called forth, maybe you can take one small action to support that person on their way.

When we deeply listen, and allow ourselves to be moved, something magical happens. The speech bubble expands, it bumps and envelopes more people and their thoughts and ideas. It changes shape, whilst miraculously holding its form, and it travels farther than the sounds we might shout.

I want to do more than just imagine a world where we give and receive 'being heard' in equal measure. Let's practice harder today. Lend me your ears and let me hear you speak.