Introducing myself and my journal: Emotional Abuse

About Me:
Hello Everyone,

I can not believe that I have been caught up in this web of emotional abuse again. My husband, of one month, is a prison psychologist that appears to be a passive aggressive narcissistic predator. He exhibits the self centered boasting of a narcissist while always minimizing or not validating what I say. The courtship started out so nice and charming. A kind of whirl wind love affair. He was so glad that he waited and God brought me to him. Lie Lie Lie. I've recently found out that he was in a one year relationship with another Debra right before me. I asked about previous relationships. He lied and told me he was married twice. I found photos of a 3rd wedding. I could go on and on.
Have a history of extreme phsysical abuse from my father and neglect from my mother. My first husband cheated immediately cheated on me and verablly and physically abused me. I got out after 2 years and 2 sons.

I am so mad at myself for marrying this man. I saw the red flags and believed his lies. He is even more distant in the month we've been married. I am starting to hate him. I think he cheats. He works out of town 4 days a week. I live 3 hours from him and haven't moved in because he go mad and told me not to. He says everything is my fault insists that I get on Resperdol - a medication for bipolar disorder of schizophrenia. I had bouts of depression before I met him but want my life back. HE is a monster and has about 30 guns in his house - An Armageddon \"prepper\". That many guns is dangerous with his mind games and short temper. He's already told me I am not a good wife. Prior to marriage, I cleaned up his pigsty house. He is a pig himself. He was so charming and fun at first but after asked me to marry him, within a week, I learned that his mother is to move in with \"us\". He is building an addition to the house for her and that is how we have spent every weekend since last August. Why did I marry him. I had a good paying job and am an intelligent woman.

My Passions:
Christ, Art and serving the geriatric population.

My Challenges:
How do I end this relationship?

My Vision for the Future:
Get a job. Work on my issues and vulnerabilities

My Areas of Expertise:
Art, Business development, Geriatric medicine