I closed out the world and came back to my senses

one of the greatest fears in this world is being judged by the surrounding, i have grown and know my self as a bold, strong and confident person that has seen many through what they called difficult situations.

Now, in most cases those that help many never get help when help is needed for them and so was me just a year back.

I found my world shuttered by a difficult and bad relationship, I saw my world fall to pieces, i saw and witnessed judgement in every corner I moved, I at some point got scared of my own body, but the sad story was, I had babies that needed my strength. I sometimes cried in bed alone, and they kept asking why I was 😢crying, I kept telling them insects had bitten me...lol..funny mum world. in fact I forgot the power I had in Christianity that had kept me strong for years.

But came one morning ( after close to 5 months) when I remembered to apply every method I had given to those I talked to in their hardest of times, I needed to close out everyone in the world around me apart from the babies, i needed to reconcile with "me" if I had to be better for others. I took time to talk to me in the mirror quiet often. i  started to move with imaginations that I was alone and had to come out of this situation, i bonded with the babies more and this worked magic. i faced that fear for this was either draining me to death or I was draining it to come out.

i got the strength to even start talking about this brokenness with ease, life became normal one more time and boom the jolly mama was back on the block to carry on her work.

Was it easy?, no it wasn't.

I learnt that sometimes you need to lock your world in order to come out of situations, regardless of who you are.

Today marks a year of this victory with the happiest new me and happy babies around me.