He was sexually abused by their house helper (maid) for years from the age of 7

On 25 November 2021 The Charlene Show premiered its first episode in its 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Based Violence 2021 Special Series. A young man, Alfa, shared how he was sexually abused by their house helper (maid) from the age of 7 and how the abuse continued for years, how it affected him and how he eventually broke free from the abuse. When i asked Alfa why he had decided to finally share his story to the world he said, \"It then follows that the magic in all of us is either fueled up or watered down by our very own feelings, perceptions and fear of the unknown. Sometimes we should just do what has to be done\".

Just because children do not say anything it does not necessarily mean that nothing has or is happening. it is our responsibility as parents to keep our children safe. Sadly, in this day and age, you cannot completely trust anyone with your child. In Alfa's testimony, the house helps who are supposed to protect our children are the ones who end up harming them. How now do you as a parent know that your child is being abused?

Abused or ill-treated children exhibit changes in three main areas namely in behavior, attitude and activity. Changes in behavior include withdrawal, eating disorders, shying away from people and regressive behavior. In terms of attitude, the child is scared, cries a lot,clings to the parent, develops nervousness or becomes moody and withdrawn. In terms of activity, the child suddenly lacks interest in playing with other children and objects she/he used to play with. the child suddenly stops playing games and sports and she/he may start playing with sharp objects as a way of expressing their inward anger.

How can you as a parent prevent your child from being abused or neglected by your house helper (maid)?

1. Talk to your helper. It is always important to maintain good relations with her. Make sure that she is not overloaded. Help her plan her work so that she has enough time for the children.

2. Surprise visits at home will help as well. From time to time you and your partner can pop in unannounced. At least this way you will be able to get a feel of what is going on even if you are not at home.

3. Treatment of your helper is very crucial. If you treat her well, she will most likely treat your children well. If she feels indebted to you, chances of her taking out her anger on the children is significantly less.

4. You can install hidden cameras n your home. One in the living room, children's room and the kitchen. Have one installed to your computer or your phone.That way you are always aware of what is taking place in your home.

If you suspect abuse, let her go. If you are sure of abuse, report her immediately to the police. Remember, we do not want the helper abusing another child.

Here is the link to Alfa's full episode: https://youtu.be/bhd7ZHzVbaA

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