Don't close your eyes before domestic violence

I tell you my story because domestic violence is a huge problem around the world. It is a taboo topic in my country. It happens in public and no one step up to help.

I met him and fell in love. The first month was perfect. Till the day he hit me the first time. I took all my staff and I was ready to leave him. He started to tell me his story. He was in tears and I feld sorry for him. I stayed! He told me he will never hit me again. Two weeks after, he hit me again. From now on it became normality for me. I started to walk on eggshells. The beating was not the worst part. The verbal and sexual abuse was the worst. After six month he tried to kill me. I survived! From now on I knew he is even able to kill me. I was scared not only for my life also the life of my family. After three years we broke up. You think maybe I was free. But that was not the case. I was ashamed for what happen to me. I cloudn't speak about it. After a few months I knew something is wrong with me I couldn't sleep. I started to drink alcohol everyday, before going to bed. I had flashbacks. Eventually I started to google domestic violence and found out it happens to many others. I found a organisation who offered help. It was a big step to finally call them. And then for the first time someone told me it was all wrong what happen to me. It was all a crime. And I need help. They send me to a therapie. There I learned it was also sexual abuse. Everytime I said no, everytime when I pressed my legs together and he opened them by force it was sexual abuse. I always thought it can't happen in a relationship. Because when you agree to stay with him, you also agree to sex. I learned this is not the case. You always have the right to say no!

I suffer from ptsd. The hard thing is most of the people don't understand it. They may think I should forget about it and move on. It is not so easy.

I want you to know one thing, if a man hits you for the first time, leave him. He will do it again. And domestic violence is not a third world problem. It happens every day to millions of women around the world. Don't close your eyes.