DO IT

On the last day of the 10 days of activism against gender violence, I sat down and poured my heart out on my keyboard words that seek to describe the pain I feel for myself, other women around me and all over the world.

There was a time I actually believed that due to its closed-mindedness and conservatism, it is only women from my society and community that suffer the injustices I have seen, witnessed and experienced. 

But now that I am out here, in a society other than mine, I have come to realize that women all over the world, face the same challenges, only in different degrees.

I cast my mind back, and remember all my teen and adult life, trying to help every woman around me, protect them, and even fight others for them including their mothers; fighting them because of their Girls. I was almost always running around everyone and everywhere like a headless chicken, telling people how they should and should not treat women and Girls. 

And so, on December 10th, 2019, with a heart that is laden with so much grief and angst at a system that demonizes, diminishes, dehumanizes and abuse the most important of all creation,  I wrote about how I feel every woman's pain. 

For as far as I can remember, I have always written. But even though my writings have been stolen, pirated, copyrighted and sold by others in the past, I have never won anything from them until now. But I never stopped, because my motivation for writing was to be a voice for myself and others.  I continued to write, and just when I least expected it, I won, - or rather my poem #Istandwithher won $100 on world pulse.

Excited does not describe how I felt. It was a conflict of emotions -  joy, sadness, motivation, inspiration, exhilaration and belonging. When I collected the money, hot tears stung my eyes, because, for the first time in my writing career, I feel that not only have I finally found an audience for my message, but a place where I belong and matter.

My initial plan for the prize money of $100 was to fund the little scholarships that I fund. But, a very big but. 

I need it too. I am studying in a foreign country without support. 

So, my beloved sisters, is there any fault if I fund myself with the win?

Will appreciate your thoughts.

In love and sisterhood,

Hawwah