Discovering myself

The challenge that I face currently, I suppose, is somehow a replica of most of the women in my circle. I have been sent to good school, taken well care of and nurtured with values of decent life. This has created a lot of expectation from me to doing well-off with my life and career. But I am a confused soul. I do not fear taking up challenges but am still not able to recognize the stream or issue that interests me the most. Yes, writing has slowly grown as my passion, my voice and my strength. However, the prospect of earning a living with writing as a career in Nepal is very challenging. I am also into youth activism but even this is not sustainable as I see very few activist (especially women) indulging themselves in long run into the field of activism. The reasons behind this as I have identified are social structure and obligations such as marriage, family and issue of sound income. Yes, there are few exceptions but I would rather be realistic. So, with undecided interest and career, I have been carrying myself forward to whatever that seems appealing to me. I write about anything I feel like expressing and volunteer to activities which are carried out for noble cause. I think of working in issues concerning disabled women property right, abandoned old age people, deprived and orphan children, adolescent, youth and mental health and so on. This helps to boost up my, ‘Yes I can make a difference attitude’ but at the same time the same old concern about my real field of interest starts crawling into back of my mind. These days quite often I question myself whether I am following my soul or just following the crowd. At times I fear ending up with no accomplishment or vision to cherish. Having no dream to make it come true is worst that failing to reach ones dream. This is very frightening. It is also one of the reasons I joined wordpulse. I am very hopeful that this platform will help me clear my goal for my life. Hearing from friends on this platform and their words and prospective towards life will help me clear the confusion which is slowly eating me up. I am almost certain that I will be aware and recognize my field of interest; issues that I want to put my effort into and see the change that I dream of. The resources that are abundantly present here will come to use for me. I will come up as a refined woman of which I am sure as I can already start feeling the difference from my day 1 in wordpulse to till date. Thank you all.