Community Cafe Story

I would like to present to you an initiative that I have recently become aware of and am lending my voice to, obstetric violence (OV).

I am now an active participant in my country through my newly-formed initiative, T.I.B.S., or Trauma-Informed Birthing Support, in the fight against this form of gender-based violence, that is sadly very rife in my country. OV is defined as any act or omission during childbirth that violates the rights of the pregnant person, including physical, verbal, or emotional abuse, disrespect, and denial of informed consent.

I am a SURVIVOR! I was a teen mom and was subjected to being berated and tormented by older women who were nurses and who were tasked with my care. Instead, I was ridiculed and reprimanded for what they termed lack of meekness' and 'poor decision-making'.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE CLOSED YOUR LEGS" they scolded me. As I groaned in the agony of labour pains, I would feel further pain as I was pinched and slapped on the thighs to force them open, and they would further egg me on, saying, "OPEN YOUR LEGS WIDE LIKE WHEN YOU OPENED THEM FOR THE BOY THAT GOT YOU PREGNANT."

I now have a word that describes what I have long lived with and what has made me feel shame all these years, I WAS A VICTIM OF OV! I am now the VOICE! The voice for that girl who cried in pain, both physical and emotional, but did not have the strength or power to say, I DONT DESERVE THIS!! NOT NOW!!

Young lady, teen mom, woman, you are worthy! You don't deserve to feel further pain and victimization as you feel your womanhood being torn and bruised as you exhale life into this world. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to be loved through the pain. YOU HAVE A VOICE!