Church and sex abuse globally

The Church is second to home in the numbers of abuse of women and children. Most people in a congregation do not know or believe or understand this unless it happens to them personally.

I stopped going to church at the age of 8, when my mother stopped going because the pastor was unable to follow through with my mother's request that he make my father stop drinking alcohol. 

Decades later as a nurse practitioner/midwife, I became excelled in educating and counseling girls and women on sex abuse and domestic violence.

As i love to sing, I started attending a church to be in the choir. The co pastors were a husband and wife. The man was/is a talented musician and vocalist. I was assigned the tech job of recording the sermons and making CD copies for the congregation to buy.

I had a friend I wanted to bring and introduce her to the church. I had the thought that if i took a picture during the service i could show her a bit of it. The man pastor was sitting next to me. i took a photo of him with the congregation in the background. As I put my phone down, he said "Put that next to your pillow tonight". That comment, with his tone and facial expression, took me by surprise and made me uncomfortable. A few months later we saw each other in town at a store. We approached each other to say Hi. What he said shocked me. to this day i cannot remember the words, but the feelings in my body are still there.

I was so uneasy that i reached out to a local counselor who offers counseling to adults abused as children. I relayed to him the events. He acknowledged the inappropriateness of the comments.

I went on an internet search. What i found was astounding. The USA Methodist women's committee surveyed their congregation and found that 70+% of the women had had some kind of sexual misconduct within the church they attended. They put out a very explicit trifold information handout on sexual misconduct behavior.

I took this information to a leader woman in the church. Her first reaction was "BUT YOU ARE LESBIAN!!" . Now, that was really really weird, yes I was with a woman at the time, but men before that. I then went into the social kitchen area where there were a few women and spoke to them about it. So, the word spread. I also made an anonymous call to the national headquarters regarding the issue.

Eventually, they wanted me to have a face to face conversation with him. I demanded another woman be present and he had his male friend present. So, the four of us sat in a small circle facing each other. We took turns speaking. I explained the situation and behavior. The male friend says "He is from Texas, that is just the way they are". oh my that lit my fire. Finally, when it was my turn I said "Maybe you just are not getting enough at home and it is coming out sideways from your mouth".

That stopped him short. His eyes lit up. The Truth was uncovered. The national office was contacted and he was made to go through a program. That church soon closed due to lack of finances.

I was told by various people in the community/congregation that now that it was public, more women from outside the congregation had relayed their stories of his sexually inappropriate words.

May we stand tall, Speak up and out. Persist!

Here is my favorite resource regarding church abuse. 

https://www.snapnetwork.org/

and what a story they have on there now by a rebel Dominican Priest calling out the abuse within the church. 

He sees all of this as simply his job. “It is the role of a Christian to speak the truth - any Christian, and the priest is a leader, by accident and design, so yes. But not many see it that way.” Likewise, the church has had precious few whistle-blowers through the years when it comes to their dismal record on sexual abuse. But Murnane spends a chapter of his book steadily working his way through summaries and examples of their behaviour in every corner of the globe.“The awful thing about the institution is that it forms us, to conform, not to criticise, otherwise you lose your job, your income, your good name - it is self-preserving and there is an evil dimension to it,” he reflects.

Dominican priest Peter Reginald Leo Murnane

https://www.snapnetwork.org/the_rebel_priest_standing_up_to_the_catholic_church