Children being used as bait against partners.

What I have witnessed in life concerning children being used in broken relationships and broken marriages. It  has been always a concern as a woman , why in such situations of relationships and marriages whereby beautiful child/children has been born  from these partners that was once so much in love and now when they cannot see eye to eye and all goes sour, my question is always WHY using the child/children to get back at the opposite partner.

I am a Domestic & marriage counsellor  and in many of my sessions  dealing with broken love relationship broken marriages 80% of those sessions male or female comes from such a scenario where mom or dad was not in their lives as a child.  Through many research work done on this I was stunned to find out this kind of behavior from couples keeping their child or children away ,and does not want  to give one another access to the child or children to continue to build their relationship with them, has a great impact on that child's life. Being that child growing up to become an adult, being married and even in their old age. THAT BROKENESS IN THAT CHILD REMAINS WITH HIM/HER.

70% Of our Girls/women who has this mentality of Girl Power does so much damage to children they bring into this world.

I would like to share this story:-

Some years back there was a young man who grew up with his mom only, in poverty never had much his mom had to make means and ways to find odd jobs to survive and give her son the best..  by Gods Grace this boy was offered a scholarship and was offered to go and further his studies abroad. 

As he was busy completing his studies his friends and colleagues were having much fun when it was break time. Whereas he had to look for jobs to make some money and send it to his mom to survive at home.. He finally manages to get his bachelors degree and went back to his home town. Mom called for a celebration as her son was doing exceptionally well.   He was feeling now like the man of the moment he met a girl in a bar and after a few weeks she came back, telling him she is pregnant.. He had to tell his childhood lover that its over between them and had to do the right choice by marrying this woman he never really knew. It happened that they got married and had a good life until the child was now about 7years old and had to get divorce due to infidelity from the wife.  She decided to be an adulteress as he lost everything and could not find himself a job to maintain them. she walked out of the marriage. 

This is now once again where the wife refused to give the husband access to the child. Many fights arguments  he lost. She now lived a luxurious lifestyle with another man, but refused the child's father to have contact or to see the child, though he tried numerous times to just see her and greet her.

This made him so angry and decided to kidnapped the child and run away, the child was so excited to see him as their love for each other was unexplainable.. The mother informed  the police and they followed behind him and in the public transport they stopped the vehicle and confronted him at gunpoint. It then turned out so nasty that he had kept people in the bus hostage, after many reasoning to release the people shots being fired. He asked to speak to his ex wife she ran and wanted her child, when he tried to ask her why she did something like this denying him to see his child he refused to give her the child and instead help a gun at the child head. She screamed and called him all kinds of disgusting names at last she said  "give my child its not your child" only to find out she has lied to him all the years that it was another man child. Sadly he broke down.

Now there was a love bond that was developed between father and child which was painful when they had to be separated, at the end of the story he was taken into prison and served his sentence. When he came out the child (not biological his) now a adult was waiting to embrace him.

This is what happens when a child or children is being used as bait.. I have my very own  brother who had been going through such pain whereby his ex wife did all kinds of crazy tactics to get back at him by using the children against him denying him access. Today there bond (father and children)is ever so strong and cannot do without each other. trying to mend up lost time but unfortunately lost time can never come back or be restored.  

These kind of actions happens to all cultures and nationalities I have seen it. My outcome of this story is that Couples should never let their adulthood of trails and mishaps affect their child/children. But rather do what is best for them. 

Yes many has some valid reasons for doing that which is understanding. But to those who has the opportunity to keep the bond between mom and child/children dad and child/children. My urge to couples who finds themselves in such situation rethink what implications you are imparting into you child/children.

Many of those children does not finish well in their lifestyles. Many times history repeats itself.

Every day we experience four O's when we face decisions. Opportunities, Oppositions, Obedience, Outcome.

When you faced with a decision ask God for Wisdom.