Breaking Barriers with lamba.

I  came to live in the Northeastern part of Nigeria after my wedding. My husband was posted to serve for the compulsory Youth Service here. And after his service, he was retained in one of the government ministries. He had grown up as a kid in this parts so it was not difficult settling down here in his adult years. 

The story was different for me. I found it challenging in almost every thing.  Life was quite different from what I had known.  I had culture shocks several times.  One was when I, my husband and some couples went to condole a family who had lost their father. On arrival , I noticed that on entering the family compound, the men and women  separated  naturally to opposite sides as if an unseen hand divided us according to our gender.  The men on one side, the women on the other. And I was in the middle.  I saw the scowls on the faces of the women " wondering why I was lingering .  Without words, they were asking me to " get over here quickly".  Much as I wanted to sit by my husband , I made my way towards the rest of the women. I learnt later that women don't sit with men, they stay inside. They are not to be seen.  A woman who was visible around men  may wrongly portray herself as loose or too accertive.

   So when because of the Boko Haram insurgency we were forced to leave, I felt my young family was better off away from this kind of environment.  I had stayed in the north east, made friends but never really accepted the diversity of the people. I had my own boss against them.

Then things changed again, and my family is back in the Northeast .   It is our home now.  And life having  "happened" to me,  I guess I am  now more matured as a person, more sensitive to the way others live their lives.  As a change maker I have had to look at my self more closely. I may have noble intentions and grand plans to affect my community, but my prejudices and irritation at their way of live are like " little foxes that spoil the vine". And those things have a way of showing up. People somehow have a way of "sniffing" out what you think about them. It's all amatter of time.

I realize from looking at  my self in the mirror that one of the things I must  come to terms with is  that culture varies. People are different. 

It is that simple! They view life differently, approach and resolve problems in different ways in the same life situations.

I see my return to the Northeastern part of Nigeria as a second chance to make positive impact in my community. I decided to choose a path that was difficult to get to the heart of the people here :Food.  

Food is an intergral part of a people's culture.  Most people would show love and acceptance  basically through food. A stranger who adapts  to a peoples' food and eating habit will most likely not be considered an outsider . It is so much a big deal.

I learnt about a local cousine amongst the Kere Kere people called lamba.  My husband told me he liked it.  He said it tasted like spiced liver.  When I asked for the recipe, a neighbor laughed at me. When I persisted she invited me to  watch her prepare it. She gave me some and I found out it is delicious.  So I set out to shock her.  I shopped for the ingredients at the market and made friends with the women selling the guinea corn which is the main item needed. I deliberately announced that I wanted to make lamba and the women cheered me and gave me free tips on the type and amount of potash to use and where to get it . It was like I gained admittance into a club, just by announcing that I was going to make lamba.

After making the lamba, I sent some to my neighbor . I got to know later that she showed it off to her friends and neighbors telling them it was me who made it. Her husband even said I make lamba better than her! Can you imagine?

It feels like an invisible door opened for me after  my attempt at making lamba. From the greetings from my neighbors,  I can hear the warmth and admiration though non-verbal. I have gained acceptance on a new level. Two days ago, one of the women who was told I made lamba, took me to the ward head to discuss my work and how it affects the people under his watch. Community building is taking place .

Once I learnt to put aside my own prejudice about the food in my new community, they too have come to put aside their resistance and  caution around me.  I gained new friendships, partnership, acceptance and hopefully these will yield desired change in our community.

Now we can sit down and discuss progress without walls . What my words and arguments haven't been able to achieve, lamba did for me.