At a crossroad...

I am at a crossroad, wondering, reflecting, contemplating and planning. I feel I am blessed to be able to have this opportunity to make choices and decisions without oppression. It is a wonderful feeling to feel the power in realising that I can make decisions and choose my own destiny with a sense of freedom. I remember reading somewhere ...opportunities give us choices to control and exercise power over our destiny. If I recall correctly it was Weber discussing the view ‘Life Chances’.

I always believe I had choices and I must make my own decision. I regret none of my decisions. I believe that I am responsible for my for my state of being based on the choices I make. Then it is me who face the consequences of my decisions. You may be thinking I must have had a lot of choices. No, that was not the case usually it was one or the other in a controlled setting. I am in the process of creating a vision for my future within the broader theme of Reach4Peace. I am entertaining and brain-storming ideas, thoughts and exchanging them here at WorldPulse and connecting with people who have a passion to help and serve. Not everyone will have passion in what I want and hold my view. Not everyone will agree on what I believe. That is what fascinates me and see richness in the diversity.

Since 2008 I am an International Student Advisor working at a university. I was a teacher, lecture and an educational leader in Maldives. I was teaching, training and serving my family, relatives, friends and community since I was 18. I got overloaded and had nowhere to delete the unwanted files stored in me. Overloading created confusion, anger and desperation that lead to a separation. My family broke up in 2003 and I left the country for an opportunity a mother would take. I left my identity and my comfort zone to survive in an unknown adventure far from anything that I was familiar. Now my kids have turned to adults and my purpose of life needs revision. Since 2005 I am struggling with competing thoughts and my purpose of life is unclear. As my kids grew older they became independent and need less of me as young kids. I had too much time at hand and my emotions that were suppressed started to emerge. I was in turmoil and in total chaos. I needed help and with hesitation and uncertainty I reached for help. Asking for help for myself was the hardest challenged I overcame. I learnt it was good to ask. Strangers help and good friends help us bounce back.

To achieve my vision, which is still on a draft stage, there are key skills I need to master. 1- Verbal communication with people who create a sense of intimidation. 2- Written communication to covey my thoughts without the academic and technical jargon to reach the lay person, the grass root community. 3- Re-built my confidence to face my fear and handle belittling and dehumanising situations. 5 – Overcome or control my emotional anxiety and the feeling of inadequacy. 4- Promote myself as a unique person that an institute, organisation, and community or as a friend have with excellent interpersonal skills – A must have :-)

My strengths are that I am capable of achieving my vision because I believe in myself. With the encouragement I have received I am motivated to work with passion and dedication. I am continuous learner practical and realist. I am positive and a good listener. I am enthusiastic in helping and address with empathy. My weaknesses are the self defeating thoughts and my emotions that created havoc in my life. I am working on the weakness and I can see I have come far. I don’t give up.

As continuous leaner I continue to develop mentally, emotionally and physically. One growth step will be in taking part as a correspondent at Worldpulse. I believe I am already one and it would be fabulous to have training opportunity! I want to serve without boundaries I was to reach people everywhere. I want to listen and voice the concerns of communities small and big.