All worshiped it

Cultures around the world are suppose to nourish pride,resilience, belonging  and connections  to our communities, but culture  is used again in justifying  gender based violence  and inequality  by evoking traditional beliefs  and practices how women and girls should be treated,leading  to increased, unsolved and unheard gender based violence.For everyone "worship "their culture, its passed in generations. 

THEY ALL WORSHIPED  IT

Today am finally laid to rest,they are all present for they don't believe am gone never to return,for the first time they came here for me.Did you see my father?yes he is here too,he was to cut ties with me if l left my marriage, I finally died a married woman.my mother is still wailing,if you don't watch her she might join me,she hasn't eaten  ever since I was murdered, they brain washed her and she did that to me,she told  me it was raining everywhere  and suggested  I try prayers and fasting.mama I did that ,my once glowing skin was emaciated  from constant  fasting my knees bruised from kneeling to pray for this man who finally took my life away.He lied to you that  I fell down,no mama it was his constant war that once left me toothless,those slaps baba those blows on my tummy that made me miscarry.It was him,but how could you know if he was crying  too why his lovely wife left him so soon, the traditions you all worshiped  has finally sent me back home.i won't be an embarrasment to you

Am locked inside this hut.The worst awaits me early in the morning.Did they give me any option? No!, they dint.my grandmother  told me it was a rite of passage ,my mama told me it will be fine.I hear voices outside the hut,seems to me like am guarded,so am this special anyway?I wonder.In my mind I have exhausted  my thoughts  on how it would feel,but still our culture, so I must abide. I can hear the birds chipping ,the morning  light penetrates through the grass thatched  roof ,finally its today am going to face the cut,today they declare me a woman.They push the door,then two men carry me everything  happen before I can even imagine ,am bleeding,the pain is so deep I can't explain I can't shed a tear for its a taboo.nana is this what you told me was a passage,they have completely  destroyed  me I don't know if I will ever recover,I don't know.

You can't leave alone,you need a man to raise these children and that man is his brother.I thought by shaving my hair to bald with a razor blade  you had done me the worst,again it's now re -marrying his brother?Rapudo will then Forse himself to my house then sleep with me and leave,he can always pass by and eat my food,if he likes he can even sire children with me,I have no say for they had paid my dowry,his brothers  kids are now his but he doesn't  even lift his finger to provide  for them.running away or marrying  again  to someone  out their clan gave me a  direct prostitute  name,my children would  be treated  so bad ,everyone is okey with me only getting  married to his brother,one month has not even elapsed  ever since we laid him to rest,.they all worshiped  it.

I am a child,so innocent and pure.i don't know my name not even how to talk.Mama trust adults around us,she says we are safer with them.mama idont know if this is an abuse,it will go unsaid for I know not to talk am just a baby. Uncle touched  my cookie played with it I giggled back for I knew it was just a play.

Papa yesterday we were playing at my friends house,his dad(who is a pastor)touched my breast, he has been doing that and told me not to let you know our little play, he even gives me sweets,he is so good that you trust the man of god around us he does that to all of us who plays in his house ,but don't we all believe  me of God are holy and trust worthy?

My dearest friend,I decide not to leave  for I have children already.who will marry me with this children?who will provide for us?I have let my husband marry a second wife.He even brought her to our house, am nolonger beautiful  anyway he said that,plus he needs a bigger family.I won't cause any trouble ,my body hasn't recovered from that fight over his phone,I know I was the cause of that beating  he gave me,I should not look into his phone because it will cost me he said and indeed it caused me.He is the man of the house from today I choose quiet  and only use my eyes ,I can't love another man ,and he is the best I have.

You were raped because  its your fault,What do you expect  from this dressing. You don't have morals and it's a lesson to you and the rest. "You heard it right! ,what's the work of health care workers,police and society ?,you get blamed for rape because of your dressing, many cases goes unreported or un attended ,that's how our skinny jeans,shorts and mini skirts have caused  us .they believe  appropriate  dressing  in long dresses blouses and skirts. But people get raped even in robes did they dress "inappropriately?"

Should we scream and strip necked?,for tears and silence can't end it,abit of screaming might end all these unspoken gender based violence! ONGEA USIKIKE,END GENDER BASED VIOLENCE

Amonge from kenya