A genuine advice to teenagers

20s have messed me up. Period.

I have never had the courage to put my current feelings into words. From the age of 15 to 19. I was happy... I was happy thinking that the people whom I called bffs were truly my friends. When I was young I thought they will be there for me. These people felt constant. By the time I was 21 I realised I was never felt seen or understood or cherished for the things that I am. I always loved people like they were my world but I never got it back. Maybe it would have been different if I just voiced out my opinions but I just kept quiet.

This self realisation has changed me. It changed me to the point that I am scared of letting people into my life now. As for now I have completely detached myself from everyone and all those memories that once I looked back with lots of love. I am taking my time revaluating people's intention towards me. Before calling someone my \"friend\" .

I started cutting myself out from situations where I am not felt seen. I am trying to voice out the things that makes me unhappy. I have realised that I am not in a place where I have to please people to stay. I am what I am and they can always leave if they are not ok with it. 

I don't know what's gonna come out of this journey of self realisation and finding myself but I have learned to be thankful for my family, I learned how it's important to work hard and get good grades.

But on the other hand I am glad that this happened. It has assured me that being alone is better that feeling lonely. It's important to work on yourself. And finally how it's important to study. Now that I have that self assurance of what I am and what I want in life. This 23 years old girl is waiting for her 30s to be alone and to work on herself and make myself happy before anyone else. Now I have got 7 years for that right ?(✷‿✷)