5 Habits of Empathetic People

Empathy is our evolutionary ability to see the world from the perspective of another and to recognize that how they see things is uniquely based on their own viewpoint and experience. It is, to use an established adage, the ability to ‘stand in somebody else’s shoes’ and understand their outlook without judgement or prejudice. 

As our world experiences the ongoing effects of a 30 year long global empathy deficit, the impact on our wellbeing continues to be significant. From increased levels of loneliness, anxiety and burn-out to higher levels of suicide than any other time in history.  

Since 2020, we’ve become very aware of the need to connect with those around us – whether at work, at home, or online and yet there are still significant cultural, workplace and social barriers to achieving this. We see a widespreadmisconception that people are born with differing levels of empathic ‘ability’ as well as a misunderstanding of empathy as ‘sympathy’ or ‘compassion’ and therefore positioning this as too soft to be used in the workplace. This is regardless of the fact that research has shown that empathy is a skillset that we are all born with and that we can all be more empathetic if we actively choose to do so.

In the modern workplace, the ability to understand the opinions and experiences of others, and show understanding, sets leaders apart from their peers as well as significantly driving business performance and morale. It drives relationships up and has significant improvements on career and stakeholder success as well as creativity, innovation and competitive edge. Empathy has become a superpower skillset for both workplace and community in the last 3 years. So, what habits do the most empathetic of leaders and friends imbue, and how can you leverage these to improve your life at work and at home? 

They are curious people

The most empathetic people are naturally curious. They ask questions that others wouldn’t and enquire into answers to dive deeper into someone’s insight and experiences more fully to understand their point of view. To pick up this habit, push yourself to start conversations by asking questions that encourage those around you to share their stories. Ask ‘why’ more often and encourage people to share their thinking - as well as their journey and rationale for that thinking more deeply.

They understand the power of body language

How often do you find yourself in the middle of the conversation or in work meeting where you’ve been hearing someone speak but haven’t really taken in any of what’s they’ve said? Empathetic understanding engages the power of body language in conversations and encourages you to use your whole body to show that you are interested and present in the realities of others. Empathetic leaders use eye contact directly and their attention is always focused wholly on whoever is speaking. Their bodies face the speaker, their arms are uncrossed, and they remember to smile and nod to encourage sharing. 

They are effective listeners

If you’ve had a conversation with a highly empathetic person, it’s likely that you’ve come away feeling like they really listened to what you had to say. That’s because empathetic people understand the importance of really ‘listening to’ and ‘seeing’ another beyond simply hearing their words. This skillset not only enables you to better understand how to work – or live – with others, but it creates confidence and calm in those you are connecting with. When people feel understood and seen by others, their stress levels decrease, and sense of safety and confidence goes up and they are far more likely to share deep, powerful insight as to their outlook and opinion.

They value the power of small gestures 

Empathetic leaders and communicators value a gesture of thanks and understanding as something that is far from insignificant. The power of the words “thank you”, a well thought through face-to-face meeting or personally written feedback all offer a sign that you understand and value the receiver. These moments of personal appreciation often prove far deeper connectivity between two people than an exaggerated gesture would. 

They’re patient

In the world of Zoom calls and online chats, it’s become far harder to know when to jump into a conversation without speaking over someone else. Whether you’re working remotely or in person, it’s important to allow others the opportunity to fully finish their sentences and thoughts. Don’t interrupt and jump in if there’s a moment of silence. A pause in the conversation, or at the end of a sentence, can often encourage people to share more insight or information than they perhaps would have otherwise. This will offer you the opportunity to deepen your knowledge and appreciation of their perspective and opinion and improve both understanding and connection. 

Mimi Nicklin is a leading empathy expert, Founder and CEO of global branding agency Freedm, and best-selling author of Softening The Edge. For more information go to https://www.empathyeverywhere.co/